The Couch Co-Op Relationship Blog - Life is a game, and Love is a power-up!
  • Couch Co-op: The Relationship Blog

    Plugging In: Healing Disconnection

    We’re continuing our series on “Plugging In”, which is about connecting with your partner in a meaningful way! Today we’re focusing on healing disconnection, but be sure to check out our previous posts in this series! Connection in relationships is awesome.  Being connected with our partners is all happiness, joy, and rainbows, right? Right? No.  Even the most loving couple will struggle with disconnection now and then.  Even when connection is prioritized, it can still misfire.  It’s important to do everything we can to minimize both the frequency of disconnection, as well as the severity of it.  The best way to do that is to maximize your connection. 5:1 This…

  • Couch Co-op: The Relationship Blog

    Plugging In: Five Ways to Bond

    Okay, so now we’ve established the WHY of connection.  Let’s get into the HOW of it.  It’s one thing to know that spending time together and updating our love map is what you need to do, but surely there is some way to level up connection? You’re darn right there is!  A couple of them, actually.  In fact, when it comes to connecting with your partner, there are only a few truly “wrong” answers.  There really isn’t a “right” way to do it, so we’re free to experiment!  Here are a few suggestions you might try: Go on a date Wow.  A date.  REAL original there, Joe.   Seriously though;…

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    Off the Couch: My “Week Off”

    Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of posts this week, I was off gallivanting around Houston, TX and attending the Level 1 Gottman Method training! I thought I would take some time and share the experience with you all! What is the Gottman Method? The Gottman Method is a methodology of counseling that is based on the research of Dr. John Gottman, and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. They’ve been studying what makes marriages succeed and fail for nearly 50 years! When I say “studying what makes marriages succeed and fail”, I don’t mean they’ve been married for 50 years and are telling us what works for them; I…

  • Couch Co-op: The Relationship Blog

    Plugging In: Intentional and Unintentional Bonding

    Bonding with your partner is instinctual. If you think about the human animal, it’s easy to see why it’s so important to bond; we’re pack animals.  There are no human cultures that do not have some sort of social aspect, so there is no question that we are biologically wired to be connected to others. How does this apply to relationships?  Well, who better to bond with than the person that you choose to spend the majority of your time around?  And with this, we come to the two types of bonding: intentional and unintentional. Unintentional Bonding Unintentional bonding is the bonding that happens naturally by being around someone.  The…

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    Plugging In: The Importance of Building Connection in Your Relationship

    If someone were to ask me what the most foundational aspect of a relationship was, I would not even think for a second before giving my answer: Connection.  There is nothing more essential to the health of a relationship than connection.  So what is connection?  Simply put, it’s the lifeblood of your relationship.  It’s your health bar.  It’s the currency of intimacy.  It’s the network that you need for your multiplayer experience.  Without it, you’re not going to be getting a whole lot of playtime! We talked about the importance of connection overall in society in the last post, but today I want to start to focus in on connection…

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    Plugging In: The Need For Connection

    What’s the first thing you need to do when you buy a new system? Plug it in, of course! Unless it’s connected to a stable power source, a computer or game system is nothing but an expensive paperweight. And these days, without a connection to the internet, games are basically unplayable. Connection is the lifeblood of modern society. So how do we put it to work? We need to feel connected to others; it’s why we socialize, it’s why we have friends and partners. When we don’t have it, we numb our hurt and pain with unhealthy coping patterns like substance abuse, disordered eating, or unreasonable spending. Unfortunately, for all…

  • Couch Co-op: The Relationship Blog

    Character Creation: Character Development

    Today we will wrap up our series on “Character Creation”. It’s been a fun trip through the design screen, but now it’s time to actually play the game! A strong character is not static, there is growth and development that happens over time. These past 2 weeks we’ve been talking about the static starting point, but where we start is rarely where we end up. Something that I say to my clients frequently is that we are not responsible for the things that happen to us; we’re responsible for what we do with it. What this means is that regardless of what is done to us; no matter what model…

  • Couch Co-op: The Relationship Blog

    Character Creation: Alignment

    As we’ve been talking about all of this “character creation” stuff over the last 2 weeks, I’ve been thinking of other ways to talk about who we are, and how to make movement in life. One thing that has come into my mind has been the concept of the “Alignment Chart”. What is Alignment? Alignment is the idea in Role-Playing Games that a person is guided by a combination of 2 traits, which exist on a spectrum: Morality, and order. There are nine basic alignments, Lawful Good, Lawful Neutral, Lawful Evil, Neutral Good, Neutral, Neutral Evil, Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, and Chaotic Evil. So what does this writing/character creation tool…

  • Couch Co-op: The Relationship Blog

    Character Creation: Identifying Your Values

    This is part 3 of the Character Creation Series. Part one is here, and part two is here! Values are a tricky thing. For the most part, they develop from how we were raised. Sometimes they are based on what we were taught, and other times, they come from what we WEREN’T taught. How we develop values could probably fill volumes of both psychological and philosophical writing. We aren’t really here to talk about where our values come from, though. We’re here to talk about figuring out what they are, and how to make our romance questline richer through them! What are your values? Identifying values is as simple as…

  • Couch Co-op: The Relationship Blog

    Character Creation: Who Taught You How to Love?

    What is love?  (babydon’t hurt me) Seriously; what is it? How do you define it?  What doesit mean to love someone?  Who taught youthat? This is part 2 of the Character Creation series, here’s part 1! It’s important to think about your history in this way, because we learn by observation; specialized neural pathways called Mirror Neurons activate when we observe certain behaviors, and help up us to mimic that action.  This is why we can do things when someone shows us how to do it, even if we’ve never done it before.  These Mirror Neurons, along with the fact that to a small child the world is only as big…