15 minutes to a better relationship

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if it were possible to supercharge your relationship in 15 minutes?  I mean, if relationships were that easy, everyone would be in happy, fulfilling and satisfying relationships, so if there really is a way that I can make my relationship better in 15 minutes, I want to know how!

Do you?  Because there is a 15 minute solution to supercharging relationships, and it is really simple!

“Okay,” you say, scoffing (I assume.  You may be intrigued; I don’t actually know), “how can I make my relationship better in 15 minutes?”

Are you ready?  Follow these steps to the letter, and your relationship will improve in 15 minutes:

When you both get home from work and have had a chance to decompress (an essential step; don’t just pounce on your partner as soon as you’re both in the same place) give your partner a hug (a real one, not one of these “hey, glad you’re not dead” side hugs.  Hold on to them, breathe them in, and enjoy the moment) for at least 10 seconds.  This will charge you both with a hormone called Oxytocin that will prime you for the next 14:50 minutes.

How was your day?

That’s right, the 15 minute miracle snake oil I’m selling you is this: Ask your partner how their day was.  Get into some of the details if you know them.  The more you remember about what was on their calendar, the quicker this will turn deep; because you’re sending the message that you are paying attention to your partners world.

There are a lot of processes at play here.  First, by engaging your partner in a manner that shows interest, you send the message that you are actually interested in the details of their day.  This is a quick and easy way to invest in the friendship aspect of your relationship and updating your love maps.  If you know the details of your partners day (like if they had a big meeting, or if they were planning on getting lunch with a friend), that shows that you pay attention to the small details, which is crucial, because those small details change every day, but they effect big changes over time.

Listen for 7 minutes.  No interruptions, no interrogations; just pure, unfiltered interest.  And bring your keys with you.

Next, switch places.  Same rules.  7 minutes.  Tell your partner every little important and unimportant detail that you want them to know.  Answer their questions openly and honestly.

The next 50 seconds?  Do whatever.  Look into each other’s eyes, hold hands, laugh together, make out; anything you want, because you just had the most important relationship bonding moment of the day.

So there you have it.  15 minutes to a better relationship.  But why limit it to just 15 minutes?  If you wind up talking all night, I would file that under “not an issue.”

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Joey Mowery

I am a blogger, artist, hipster, and wannabe renaissance man. I use video games and pop culture as a means to educate others on mental health and relationship topics.

3 Comments:

  1. Pingback: Gratitude: The One Thing Your Partner Needs - Joeymowery.com

  2. This is adorable but also so true. With social media and phones being such a big part of our lives, it’s hard to get long stretches of time (is 15 mins considered long? haha) just paying attention to each other. Thanks for writing this!

    • It is way too easy to let technology win when it comes to deciding where to invest our time, and I am just as guilty as anyone. Ultimately it fosters a sort of connected disconnection that puts distance between you and your partner, and it just requires the awareness that it’s there to deal with it. If 15 minutes is a long time, then this sort of conversation is definitely worth having, because over time it will feel shorter and shorter!

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